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I have always tended to be insecure and jealous when in a relationship and I care so much about someone that I'm afraid of losing them. My boyfriend and I are both divorced and in our 40s. I knew he had a female coworker that was a friend of his (work out together and go to lunch sometimes) for several months already before he met me. We have been together for 1 years. I also know she is younger and attractive and has her own life with her friends and dating. Their texts to each other were not inappropriate. But there were texts between them with fun banter and just chatting in general and I felt upset that he could be that close of friends with another woman besides me unless he has hopes of being more than friends with her. It surprised me as he spends just about all of his time with me, integrated me into his family life with his, and always treats me in such caring ways and with respect and plans a future with me. We always have a wonderful time together no matter what we do so I really don't have any obvious red flags. But then I read about how affairs often start out at work with coworkers and how common it is that they start out on an emotional level and "texting relationships". I feel a desperate fear that this could happen and that I don't know how I can be certain if this is truly just a friendship or something that he is hoping eventually turn into something more and is just hanging on to me in the meantime since he can't have her right now. If that's the case I can't stop him, but I want to know as as possible so I don't wait around for the bitter end. He has always been more of an extrovert than myself and gets along well with just about everyone. I don't know if I am over-reacting and this is just the way extroverted people are like and that maybe I am being too close minded? Or should I worry? When I told him it bothers me how much they had texted each other, that I felt it would bring him closer to her than me and it is important to me that my boyfriend by my best friend, he did cut back on the texting.
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Pentagon in limbo on gays-military court order By The Associated Press 8:20am EDT (Washington) As the administration considers appealing a judge’s order to stop the law prohibiting gays from serving openly in the military, some officers and service members say they are uncertain how to react. The Pentagon said Wednesday it had not issued written guidance on the ruling, and commanders in the field said they did not know how to proceed on sensitive questions like pursuing existing investigations against service members. Defense Secretary Gates warned of “enormous consequences” for troops if the court order is allowed to stand, saying the decision on repeal of the law known as “don’t ask, don’t tell” should be decided by Congress and not the courts. He has said he wants more time to prepare for a circumstance in which, for the first time, members of the military could declare their sexual orientation without fear of dismissal. The Justice Department worked into the night Wednesday on its response to the California judge’s ruling but gave no indication when there would be an announcement. Its first move be to seek a stay, or temporary freeze, of the order. If that request is rejected, the department probably would turn to the federal appeals court in California. If the government does appeal, it would put the administration in the position of continuing to defend a law it opposes. White House press secretary Gibbs said time is running out for the ban on gays serving openly. “This is a policy that is going to end,” he said. On Wednesday, Gates told reporters traveling with him in Europe that repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” law should be considered only after the Pentagon completes a study of the impact of lifting the ban, including an assessment of service members’ attitudes toward the change. The study is due Dec. 1. FULL STORY:
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